Fast Food is the Fast Track...

...to death.

I swear that after I first ate a KFC Double Down (and yes I got the crispy deep fried battered deliciousness and not the lame "healthy" grilled one) I thought I might die. And I don't mean the kind of "die because I'm so happy" kind of death. This was more of a "I had always hoped I'd die a quick death" feeling. It was surprisingly delicious though. How could cheese, bacon, and special sauce between 2 crispy chicken breasts not be tasty? Well after I realized this might be the end of me, I said a little prayer, and kept on eating the fatty goodness and sipping on my Mountain Dew.

Arby's curly fries: pure heaven? or artery clogging hell?! Medium curly fries are 540 calories and 29 grams of fat. Wait...it also has 6% of my daily value of Vitamin C?! Perfect. I'm being healthy.

The Hamburglar isn't just stealing your burgers...he's also stealing years of your life. At McDonald's my favorite thing is their strawberry milkshakes. I once got a large shake, drank the whole thing in 30 minutes, then proceeded to have what I call "dairy throat" afterward. Well, that large milkshake I had was a tiny 26 grams of fat....but don't worry it only has 2 grams of Trans Fat. That's the stuff that'll kill you. The other stuff is harmless. Right?

Lastly, let's make my old roommates feel terrible and knock out Wendy's. Of course we must analyze their favorite: The Baconator. Having any sort of "Terminator" nickname + bacon = a definite death...and one more Terminator play on words the world didn't need. Just throwing that equation out there. Archimedes said it. Anyways, their favorite burger, let's assume they got a Baconator Double, has 980 calories, 63 grams of fat, 1830 mg of sodium, but it's definitely good for you because if you're trying to bulk up after the gym it has 58 grams of protein. Screw protein shakes.

PS: In case you were wondering...KFC's Double Down is 0 grams of fat, -735 calories, and 0.00001 mgs of sodium. Trust me. I'm an expert.

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