To help you get through "hump day" (which I literally used to think had something to do with humping...I was wrong) I've got a present for you. For your listening pleasure I'm going to throw at you the Hump Day Combo Meal. Get ready for greatness, folks.
Except...get ready for terrible-ness my friends. I'm here to tell you to never listen to these songs...after you listen to them ONCE (at most). This Combo Meal features songs that, for some reason, people seem to like. I'm sorry if you do because 1) I'm right that they all suck, 2) that means you have bad taste in music, and 3) I'm not going to apologize.
So, to start off with we have a 2 for 1 of bad music, then 1 last little guy.
-The first song is "Booty Bounce" by Dev. Terrible song. Awful. Do I actually want to "see your booty bounce?" No. First off...she is of "Mexican descent?"...I highly doubt it. Mostly because Dev looks more like a skinny awkward white girl with really ugly knees. Because of that it's doubtful she has any booty to bounce. Look at her! That'd be like me saying I have junk in my trunk. Which I don't. Trust me. At least I admit it...so why won't you Dev? Now, besides the butt argument we have this argument: the song sucks. Moving on, we can also analyze the TERRIBLE music video made for the song. It is seriously Seizure Central! So many flashes I'm pretty sure my eyes will never be the same. Worst thing is though...look at her outfit at :42. WTF? Seriously? Are you Batman? What is that mess? I didn't know hipsters actually lost their fashion sense when exposed to flashing images, like her terrible video. Moving on.
-The second song samples Dev's song. Bad choice. So from the get-go I instantly don't like whatever magical song this must be. Oh wait...it's the confusingly popular "Like a G6" by Far East Movement. I can't believe a good group like The Cataracs actually were a part of this piece of garbage. Come on guys! You found great rappers like Glasses Malone...yet you also produce the Far East Movement? Barf. The video: lame and cliche. The beat: not all that bad. Lyrics: dreadful. Their lyrics are like every wanna-be rapper out there who thinks they're rockstars. You simpletons. Listen to the lyrics of a true artist like Jay-Z, Lupe Fiasco, Jay Electronica, and Aloe Blacc. They can give lyrics about living like a star and all the fancy things in some songs, yet tons their lyrics have true meaning and purpose behind them. Those kinds of artists can tell you that they're doing it for the kids, their family, the future, Africa, Haiti, their grandma, the fans, and sometimes just for themselves because they worked so hard for it (like Jay Electronica especially: he's been homeless several times). Far East Movement...you suck. You have no depth/purpose/meaning to your lyrics other than: Look at me! I can party! I have money! We're awesome. We'll I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite...you aren't. Yes, I referenced Zoolander. That was more of a work of art than "Like a G6." Moving on.
-The last song is "The Catalyst" by Linkin Park. Also a wretched song. What is this crap? It's their usual rock, with that strange voice on their lead singer, except now they have some weird electronica dance music thrown in their as well. Huh? That makes no sense. So...I'll simply move on to my main argument for why this song sucks: it's by Linkin Park. Every true American knows deep down inside that they should not like Linkin Park...unless you're my old roommate Christian. In which case, your entire taste in music sucks, so we forgive you. So, remember...Linkin Park sucks...they're practically grouped into the Forbidden Zone with artists like Hinder and Nickelback. So, stay away from this song as well.
Now, remember, these are my opinions. So, if you DON'T like what I have to say...then you should've stopped reading a while ago, and you're dumb...because I'm right.
And, also make sure you realize that I only posted the audio/video of these songs so that you all can watch them ONCE then laugh about it, cringe, vomit, or whatever reaction you usually have to a lingering fart/a dead body/rotten eggs/a bad song
So...I hope that you truly do NOT enjoy the...
NOT Song(s) of the Moment 11/3
Booty Bounce by Dev
Like a G6 by Far East Movement
The Catalyst by Linkin Park
If you wish to leave comments or check out older posts: www.tylerconta.blogspot.com
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So, to start off with we have a 2 for 1 of bad music, then 1 last little guy.
-The first song is "Booty Bounce" by Dev. Terrible song. Awful. Do I actually want to "see your booty bounce?" No. First off...she is of "Mexican descent?"...I highly doubt it. Mostly because Dev looks more like a skinny awkward white girl with really ugly knees. Because of that it's doubtful she has any booty to bounce. Look at her! That'd be like me saying I have junk in my trunk. Which I don't. Trust me. At least I admit it...so why won't you Dev? Now, besides the butt argument we have this argument: the song sucks. Moving on, we can also analyze the TERRIBLE music video made for the song. It is seriously Seizure Central! So many flashes I'm pretty sure my eyes will never be the same. Worst thing is though...look at her outfit at :42. WTF? Seriously? Are you Batman? What is that mess? I didn't know hipsters actually lost their fashion sense when exposed to flashing images, like her terrible video. Moving on.
-The second song samples Dev's song. Bad choice. So from the get-go I instantly don't like whatever magical song this must be. Oh wait...it's the confusingly popular "Like a G6" by Far East Movement. I can't believe a good group like The Cataracs actually were a part of this piece of garbage. Come on guys! You found great rappers like Glasses Malone...yet you also produce the Far East Movement? Barf. The video: lame and cliche. The beat: not all that bad. Lyrics: dreadful. Their lyrics are like every wanna-be rapper out there who thinks they're rockstars. You simpletons. Listen to the lyrics of a true artist like Jay-Z, Lupe Fiasco, Jay Electronica, and Aloe Blacc. They can give lyrics about living like a star and all the fancy things in some songs, yet tons their lyrics have true meaning and purpose behind them. Those kinds of artists can tell you that they're doing it for the kids, their family, the future, Africa, Haiti, their grandma, the fans, and sometimes just for themselves because they worked so hard for it (like Jay Electronica especially: he's been homeless several times). Far East Movement...you suck. You have no depth/purpose/meaning to your lyrics other than: Look at me! I can party! I have money! We're awesome. We'll I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite...you aren't. Yes, I referenced Zoolander. That was more of a work of art than "Like a G6." Moving on.
-The last song is "The Catalyst" by Linkin Park. Also a wretched song. What is this crap? It's their usual rock, with that strange voice on their lead singer, except now they have some weird electronica dance music thrown in their as well. Huh? That makes no sense. So...I'll simply move on to my main argument for why this song sucks: it's by Linkin Park. Every true American knows deep down inside that they should not like Linkin Park...unless you're my old roommate Christian. In which case, your entire taste in music sucks, so we forgive you. So, remember...Linkin Park sucks...they're practically grouped into the Forbidden Zone with artists like Hinder and Nickelback. So, stay away from this song as well.
Now, remember, these are my opinions. So, if you DON'T like what I have to say...then you should've stopped reading a while ago, and you're dumb...because I'm right.
And, also make sure you realize that I only posted the audio/video of these songs so that you all can watch them ONCE then laugh about it, cringe, vomit, or whatever reaction you usually have to a lingering fart/a dead body/rotten eggs/a bad song
So...I hope that you truly do NOT enjoy the...
NOT Song(s) of the Moment 11/3
Booty Bounce by Dev
Like a G6 by Far East Movement
The Catalyst by Linkin Park
If you wish to leave comments or check out older posts: www.tylerconta.blogspot.com
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOAMfUJ3tsc
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